Perhaps you have this idealistic picture in your mind of how Mother's Day should go. Something like you wake up to the smell of bacon and eggs as your adoring children are preparing breakfast in bed for you. Your night in shining armor strokes your hair as he tenderly tells you that you are the best mother in the world. Darling little cherubs thank you for the many sacrifices you've made to parent them well....
BUT, things don't look quite like that in your world today. Daily meltdowns exhaust you. Sibling fights. Sensory overload. Marital stress and financial strain. Your mind is consumed with what program, doctor, treatment, or therapy to invest in next to try to help your hurting child. You'd really just like a day off for Mother's Day, but even if you were to go away your stressed out mind goes with you - churning with thoughts of how to make things better.
Today I want honor you, thank you, and pray for God to bless you in some unexpected way. This parenting journey of unconditionally loving high-risk kiddos is hard work. It can feel thankless at times. I want to encourage you to spend time with someone who builds you up, even if just for a few minutes of your day. It is so easy to isolate yourself on a tough parenting journey, but stay connected. You are loved, you are precious, and you are courageous to keep on keeping on. Hold on to hope that things can get better and they indeed will if you continue to use trust-based strategies to help your children heal.
Your children may not be healthy enough to honor you the way you deserve today. Mother's Day is a very difficult day for children who lost their first Mom and that grief can present as rage, often directed at the adoptive or foster mom who is loving them well. Should a meltdown or hard day present itself, remember to get out your Q Tip - Quit Taking It Personally. Your child's pain is not about you; it is about their history. It is about their brain development, their neurochemistry, their attachment, and their sensory impairment. But their pain can trigger your pain, and it is important to recognize and make sense of your own history to stay emotionally connected. Keep progressing on your own healing journey.
We Moms have to stick together. Find one person who understands your world and encourage one another. It's okay to say, "Happy Mother's Day to Me!" I'm still here. I'm still moving forward. I'm still trusting God for the healing of my child, whatever that may look like and however long that takes.
My Mother's Day now looks like my picture I'd always dreamed of. My kids honor me, take me out for a nice dinner, bring presents, and stick together as a family. My husband and I are on the same page most days and he praises me for the successes we've had in our family. We didn't get to this point without lots of help, many needed changes in our parenting, and many encouragers.
So Happy Mother's Day to you! Please hold on to hope. Please know you are not alone. And please practice healthy self-care. And may you have a Mother's Day that is blessed by your heavenly Father.
"Therefore encourage one another and build each other up, just as in fact you are doing."
P.S. It's a great day for some retail therapy!