Timing Matters! Ya know that 'ol saying, "Timing is EVERYTHING." Well it really is, especially in parenting.
Speaking of timing, I really am not sure I have time to write this blog before I head to an intervention early this Saturday morning. I haven't even had my coffee yet, but I was reading my Jesus Calling App on my phone and this quote got me thinking of our parenting.
"Much, much stress results from your wanting to make things happen before their times have come. One of the main ways I assert My sovereignty is in the timing of events. If you want to stay close to Me and do things My way, ask Me to show you the path forward moment by moment. Instead of dashing headlong toward your goal, let Me set the pace. Slow down, and enjoy the journey in My Presence." Excerpt from Jesus Calling App, January 9, 2016
I would say in 99% of the parents with whom I work, the area where parents are most struggling to implement TBRI® is in knowing when to use the calming strategies and when to use the correcting strategies. Many parents have learned that it's important for our children to "redo" things correctly to form new brain pathways for the right behavior, but they are asking for the redo while the child is still in a heightened state. It can take much longer than we'd like to get the child calm, and we have to be really attuned and emotionally present to know the exact timing of when he is "calm enough" to think and connect with us.
Most of us are living pretty fast-paced lives these days. We want to hurry up, get this done, get there on time, etc. One of the actually more sacrificial pieces of implementing an in-home intervention with your child is to TRULY slow down. Like clear-your-calendar slow down. Like dinner-can-be-late slow down. Like focus-on-being-present slow down. It is hard. It means trusting that not everything depends on me. It means paying attention to what really matters. It means relationship first.
Before correcting a behavior next time, slow down and try these three little checks:
- Did we breathe together until my child is calm and connected to me?
- Can my child think at her best right now?
- Did I give her the skills she needs to redo this correctly?
And if you're a walking with Jesus kind of follower, remember to ask Him to show you the "path forward moment by moment."
Well, gotta get the coffee made and something done with this hair and image. Timing - UGH! I wish I had the timing of a man when it comes to getting ready in the mornings, but this face needs some Mary Kay!
What do you do to help with your timing?
"For nothing is impossible with God." Luke 1:37
P.S. Don't forget to make time for self-care today. Maybe a nice afternoon tea break like the English, or perhaps some lovely essential oils in a warm bath this evening? Take time. Really!
P.S.S. Time? There's still time to register for the Parent Training & Respite Cruise, affectionately now nicknamed, "Cruising with Connection." There are 34 of us connecting in the Caribbean, and we'd love to have you! 6 WEEKS!!!