God, Are you Nice or Mean?
Through a journey of joys, tears, struggle and hopelessness, Debra Delulio Jones found herself shaking her fist in the air and screaming, "God, are You nice or mean?"
Her adopted son didn't know how to trust in the love of his parents due to his early abandonment and attachment issues. In his confusion he would ask, "Mommy, are you nice or mean?" As Debra learned ways to connect to her son, she realized a twenty year course in clinging to God paralleled her parenting journey.
She came to understand that her doubts about God were rooted in fear and pain, just like her son's maladaptive behaviors.
Dr. Curt Thompson, Founder of Being Known and author of Anatomy of the Soul
Deborah D. Gray -- specializing in attachment, grief, and trauma issues
Attach -- Association for Treatment and Training in the Attachment of Children
Dr. Mary Ann Block, Medical director and top-selling author
Tapestry Adoption and Foster Care Ministry at Irving Bible Church
(available from The Karyn Purvis Institute of Child Development at TCU. www.child.tcu.edu/store/)
Healing Family Series:
Trust-Based Parenting: Creating Lasting Changes in Your Child’s Behaviors
TBRI®: An Overview
Children From Hard Places and the Brain
Attachment: Why it Matters
A Sensory World: Making Sense of Sensory Disorders
TBRI for Teens
Empowering, Connecting & Correcting Principles
The Attachment Dance
Facilitating Behavioral Change
The Neurochemistry of Fear
Debra's articles in Fostering Families Today:
Bailey, Becky A., Ph.D., I Love You Rituals: Fun Activities for Parents and Children That: Boost brain potential, Encourage cooperation and caring, Promote learning and literacy, Increase attention dn decrease power struggles, Build bonds of unconditional love, (Harper Collins Publishers, Inc, 2000)
Gray, Deborah D., Attaching in Adoption: Practical Tools for Today’s Parents, (Perspectives Press, Inc., 2002).
Gray, Deborah D., Nurturing Adoptions: Creating Resilience after Neglect and Trauma, (Perspectives Press, Inc., 2007).
Karen, Robert, Ph.D., Becoming Attached: First Relationships and How They Shape Our Capacity to Love, (Oxford University Press, 1994).
Kranowitz, Carol Stock, M.A. and Lucy Jane Miller, Ph. D., OTR, The Out-of-Sync Child: Recognizing and Coping with Sensory Processing Disorder, Revised Edition, (Penguin Group, Inc., 2005).
Kranowitz, Carol Stock, M.A., The Out-of-Sync Child Has Fun, Revised Edition: Activities for Kids with Sensory Processing Disorder, (Penguin Group, Inc., 2006).
Leaf, Caroline, Dr., Who Switched Off My Brain: Controlling Toxic Thoughts and Emotions, (Inprov, Ltd., 2009)
Leaf, Caroline, Dr., Switch On Your Brain: The Key to Peak Happiness, Thinking, and Health, (Baker Books, 2013)
Perry, Bruce D., M.D., Ph.D. and Maia Szalavitz, The Boy Who Was Raised as a Dog: And Other Stories from a Child Psychiatrist’s Notebook--What Traumatized Children Can Teach Us About Loss, Love and Healing, (Basic Books, 2006).
Perry, Bruce D., M.D., Ph.D. and Maia Szalavitz, Born for Love: Why Empathy is Essential - and Endangered, (HarperCollins Publishers, 2011).
Purvis, Karyn B., Ph.D., David R. Cross, Ph. D., and Wendy Lyons Sunshine, The Connected Child: Bring Hope and Healing to Your Adoptive Family, (McGraw-Hill, 2007).
Purvis, Dr. Karyn with Michael and Amy Monroe, Created to Connect: A Christian’s Guide to The Connected Child, (Empowered to Connect™, 2010, free downloadable pdf file at http://www.empoweredtoconnect.org/guide).
Rowell, Katja, M.D. Love Me, Feed Me: The Adoptive Parent’s Guide to ending the worry about Weight, Picky Eating, Power Struggles and More, (Family Feeding Dynamics, LLC, Saint Paul, MN, 2012)
Siegel, Daniel, M.D. and Tina Payne Bryson, Ph.D., No-Drama Discipline: The Whole-Brain Way to Calm the Chaos and Nurture Your Child’s Developing Mind, (Bantam Books, 2014)
Siegel, Daniel, M.D. and Mary Hartzell, M.Ed., Parenting From the Inside Out, (Penguin Group Inc., 2003).
Siegel, Daniel, M.D. and Tina Payne Bryson, Ph.D., The Whole-Brain Child: 12 Revolutionary Strategies to Nurture Your Child’s Developing Mind, (Delacorte Press, 2011).
Siegel, Daniel J. M.D., Brainstorm: The Power and Purpose of the Teenage Brain, (Penguin Group Inc., 2013)
Thompson, Curt, M.D., Anatomy of the Soul: Surprising Connections Between Neuroscience and Spiritual Practices, (Tyndale Momentum, 2010)
Thompson, Curt, M.D. The Soul of Shame: Retelling the Stories We Believe About Ourselves, (Intervarsity Press, 2015)
Van Der Kolk, Bessel, M.D. The Body Keeps the Score: Brian, Mind, and Body in the Healing of Trauma, (Penguin Group, LLC, 2014)